The Truth (or, "if you didn't know, now you do")

Matt is gay. Which I guess would be truth #1.

Truth #2: I'm OK. No really, I am. Many of you seem surprised by this, and it's not hard to see where you're coming from in your concern. But I have support! And I had suspected, and I am the one who confronted him -- so I wasn't blindsighted by the news. I'm not heartbroken, I'm not resentful or angry, and I'm not feeling sorry for myself.

Truth #3: Mostly, things aren't going to change. At least in the short term. True, our relationship is now platonic. But we have decided to remain together in the same house; we are not doing anything legal (like divorce) right now. We are still, and have always been, best friends! There is no one on Earth I trust more than Matt. Besides the boys, I love him more than anyone. We don't see any reason why we should not continue to live together. We enjoy each other's company and we don't want the boys to have to go between houses if its not necessary.

Truth #4: The boys. Oh, the boys. :) Liam is too little to understand. Lucas says he doesn't care (could he be any more laid back??). Noah is the one we're worried about; he's the one we're always worried about. Noah is going to school in Gwinnett County. He has already heard "gay is bad" so many times, either on the school bus or from other kids. Long before Matt came out, he was coming home spouting this stuff off. Of course we corrected him, maybe too much. So we've told him, casually. He took it badly, like we knew he would. He stomped off and said he didn't want to live here anymore. :( And then woke up fine the next morning, and is OK when we don't mention it outright. We have a counseling session set up in 2 weeks (initially for other reasons) but at this point we hope she can help us talk this through with him.

Truth #5: Gi is fine with things, too. Our wonderful amazing Gi! I knew she had to be the first one we told, but I was so nervous -- would she want to go to another family? Would she stay out of obligation but feel awkward? But she swears she's fine with it; I think most other countries are perhaps not as uptight as America. ;)

Truth #6: Everyone has been curious about whether we are going to start dating. Of course we will......at some point. I'm not ready right now; with school and the boys, there is just a lot on my plate and dating is not something I want to add to the mix! I think Matt thought he wanted to, but has since changed his mind. He doesn't want to move too quickly. And please give us some credit -- we won't be introducing every date to the kids.

Truth #7, because I told Matt I'd come clean too: I am bisexual,kinda "bendy" (thanks TP for coining that term). I love men but have been attracted to some women too. I'm equal opportunity! Matt has asked me to please only date women (he was kidding....I think). I have never had a relationship with a woman, just sort of drunken kisses back in college....and I could see myself dating either gender now. I am just putting it out there so Matt wouldn't feel like he was the only one opening up.

Truth #8: branching off #7 -- I may as well not write at all if I can't be open. So if TMI makes you squeamish, I'm warning you now that I don't censor or filter. ;)

Truth #9: Matt is OK with me writing this. Yes, I'm sure; I've asked him about 49803749 times.

and finally, Truth #10: You don't understand it? What we're doing? No worries, neither do we! We're just taking it one day at a time, but we don't know what the hell we're doing most of the time!


I am writing this blog so that I have an outlet. I'm writing it to keep our family and friends in the loop as we embark on this journey. I am writing it because when all this came about, I scoured the internet trying to find information, and there wasn't a whole lot out there. At least not too many people that seemed to be going through what we were. So, I'm hoping this blog finds someone out there who is dealing with the same kind of stuff, and can be the hope they need to know they aren't alone. But mainly I'm writing it for my kids......my 3 amazing boys. Most days they drive me to the brink of insanity, but I want them to know, from the start, that I don't regret any of this, because I got them out of it. And although we may warp them and they may have years of therapy ahead of them in adulthood, I want them to be able to look back and know that we tried our hardest to do the best things. I want them to know how much their dad and I love each other; how much we genuinely love each other..........and how unspeakably crazy in love with them we are, too. (And also that I hope they just need the normal amount of therapy, nothing excessive.......).

Peace,
Sarah

P.S. Matt asked me to add his comment, which some of you have seen on facebook:  This is Matt (the other half of this blog)and I am Gay. This is not a joke on Sarah's part. I feel so relieved to let the truth out and so thankful that this amazing woman was brought into my life. She accepted me when she and others had questioned my sexuality. She became my best friend and partner in crime. We have had the most amazing life so far and I cannot wait to continue this journey with her. 
I have always known I was gay but let society dictate to my brain what I thought a good little boy should do. I was raised a polite and caring southern boy. I, like other men suppressed these fantasies/curiosities that filled my brain about men. I did not want to disappoint my family and friends. I did not want to be a social outcast. I just wanted to love and be loved. Then, I found Sarah and my whole world changed. 
Sarah was amazing! She was so kind and accepting of everyone. We had the best times in college. We had the best adventures after college. I did not want it to stop and I had fallen in love with her. 
Most of our friends know the story but I will share for those of you who do not. I had decided I wanted to spend the rest of my life wit her and took our first trip to New York City. Everything was perfect and we were having great times. One morning we went down fifth Avenue and had our own breakfast at Tiffany's! I had bought her the classic Tiffany diamond engagement ring. We strolled into central park and I proposed. She happily excepted. We were married and had 3 wonderful boys! I have been the happiest ever in my life. I always wanted to be a dad. We struggle like most parents to provide the best for our kids. We always do it with team work. That is the key to our successful relationship and will always be. 
Sarah confronted me with the "elephant" in the room to which I had to tell her the truth because I had never lied to her, except for this. I was relieved and so was she because now she new the passion was not there because I desired the opposite sex. She knows she is beautiful, because I tell her, She knows she is sexy, because I tell her. She knows what a great mom and friend she is, because we all tell her. 
I am so proud of her for this blog and could not have said it any better.
We are great and face challenges just like everyone else. We will get through this like everyone else because we will continue to love and support each other. We will also get though this with the love and support from our wonderful friends and family. We LOVE you all. So, life goes on and I will go with it happy and excited about what the future will bring for us all. Thank You for taking the time to read this and I hope it is insightful. More to come.